It's a joke, Joyce!
The fact that someone seems to have taken what I write literally and it's made national headlines has made me think about the tone of this blog, since I mustn't have made it clear. At the risk sounding like some wanky dipso poet on a Radio National quack-fest I'll explain what I'm doing:
I'm trying to make my point in an entertaining way. See, I'm too knackered and decrepit to do standup routines anymore, so I blog instead. It's what I'd call "sit-down comedy". So, I have a growl about stuff that's out there, knowing full well that I have Buckley's chance of actually influencing the world, but a reasonable chance of getting a few wuckas out there in Computerland. (Though, now it seems I sorta have influenced the world! Funny, that.)
To this end I use colloquial terms and heaps of italics to make it all seem a bit over the top. And then every now and then I throw stuff in that's hyperbolic and utterly ridiculous, just to make it clear that in the end, it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Here's an example. Obviously I don't go around immolating greenies. I just really wish I could, that's all. (And I don't think I'm alone in this.) So I indulge in a kind of cyber-sublimation and blog as if I actually have!
Freud would definitely approve (and I know my shrink actually does).
Also, it functions as a good potential alibi ... See, if I do succumb to my dark drives and, Ivan Milat-style, stalk Goolengook National Forest for wayward ferals, roasting them thither and yon as they dry hump the trees, and I am subsequently sprung with a charred beanie in my bag, I can then invoke a kind of counter-intuitive defence along these lines:
"But Your Honor, we all know from movies like Seven and Silence of the Lambs that sociopaths are utterly diabolical and waaay ahead of the curve at all times. Do you seriously believe I would be so sloppy as to telegraph my evil intentions on my blog?
"Clearly someone with an axe to grind has committed these heinous crimes and framed me, Your Honor!"
And I would point to my blogging nemesis (who would surely be there in the court to gloat) and I would say, "Derek Sapphire, J'accuse! " And then as the little jasmine scented weasel bolted from the stand I'd break free from my shackles and ... and ...
Er, sorry. Got a bit carried away there.
I think you get my drift. If this blog is anything, it's a bloody joke. Not news.
But now it has become news in the mainstream meeja. Which I'd say makes the meeja the bloody joke, wouldn't you?
